I started calling at 1000 hrs this morning. I called Dr. A. Left a
message. He called me back 5 minutes later. Our conversation went
something like this:
A Please tell me about your son.
Me: He has undiagnosed Paranoid-Delusional Schizophrenia and his mother and I are trying to get him diagnosed and help.
A: Tell me some of the things that he does.
Me: It started about 2 years ago and we confused the symptoms with his use of Meth. Eventually - thinking that he was still using - we kicked him out of the house. He moved into a second story apartment in a city near his brother. At some point, he became certain that the people that lived below him - we'll call him tom & sally - were spying on him and trying to control his thoughts. So, one night, he beat a hole through concrete floor into their apartment so that he could attempt to keep them from spying on him. Tom & Sally called the police. The
police put him into jail. The next day, his brother bailed him out. He immediately jumped into his car and went to Florida claiming he was on "spring break". In Florida, he ran out of gas and money and called home to ask for money. We told him no. So, he stole clothes from a clothing
store, a meal from arestaurant , and then snatched a purse (that had $10 in it) and tried to do it again. He was jailed. The state of Florida has decided that purse snatching is a felony offense so he spent 5 months in jail. During the jail time, we conversed with him via snail mail. Some of his letters were insane! Talking about people following him, etc. In August, we went to Florida and picked him up after hisrelease . When we got to the house, everything was sorta
normal for a few weeks. Then suddenly, he started spending all night and all day for seven days straight outside in our backyard tending a fire in ourfire pit . When he came into the house he would talk to himself in the kitchen while we were in the living room. Soon, he was cursing me for loving him. Then it got worse and he started clanging. You know clanging, right doc?
A: Yes, I'm familiar with that.
Me:
He broke down and finally begged me to help him saying that Tom & Sally were telling him when to eat, when to sleep and what to say at all timesand he wanted them out of his head. His mom and I packed him into the car and took him to the local county hospital. It was a Thursday night and raining... so there were MANY people in the ER. We got into the Triage nurse and basically I told him that he should not lie. So, he told the triage nurse that someone has put something into his brain and was controlling his thoughts and he wanted a cat scan. The triage nurse immediately got him into the ACTUAL ER part and we sat there for awhile. Finally the ER doctor showed up and asked him what was going on. He told her that he knew for a fact that Tom & Sally had put something in his head and they were controlling his thoughts and he wanted a cat scan to get it out. The doc pulled me out into the hall where she made the statement that she believed that he
had Schizophrenia and needed mental help, but she highly recommended seeking help for him through a private practice rather than the county services. Basically, she was saying that the county mental health services was NOT a good place for anyone to be. I told her that we had no choice as he was 24 and could not be on our insurance, he didn't work and had no insurance. So, we were then moved to the 13th floor of the hospital. While there, he had to again go through a triage nurse. He told her the truth about the thing in his head. He then stepped out into the waiting area andlayed down across a couple of chairs. At this point, a policeman came in, immediately walked over to my stepson and smacked him on the head with a rolled up piece of paper and told him he could NOT sleep in this room. My stepson immediately became agitated and un-volunteered himself.
A: Oh God, that's never good!
Me: Yeah, you got that right! Anyway, later that weekend, we tried calling in Crisis Hot line and they sent out a mobile crisis unit to the scene. Once the counsellor(?) arrived with her buddy, a cop, she introduced herself and the cop to my son. Once he understood that the guy was a cop he immediately startedshaking and refused to say a word in their presence. The lady had to leave. At that point, he started hiding what he was thinking very well. However, he continues to have these thoughts as we see where he has done searches on the Internet for Tom & Sally, their address, whether they have been arrested, and whether Tom was on a sex-offenders list somewhere. He also does searches on mind control, how to remove controlling devices from your brain, etc, etc. And now, during this low period, I am the bad guy. I'm the one that has put the thing into his head and has programmed the chip to control his thoughts.
A: Oh God. He needs help and quick!
M: No doubt!
A:
Well, unfortunately, I don't have admitting capability at a hospital so you really need to use a psychiatrist that has that ability. Here the names and numbers of Dr. B and Dr. C, whom I think can help you.
Click.
So, I call Dr. B and leave a message. Dr. B calls back within 5 minutes. And that conversation sounds EXACTLY like the one above. I call Dr. C and leave a message. They return the call in an hour and we repeat the conversation above. Dr. C says: I don't have the ability and I think that you should call Dr. D and possibly Dr. E.
click
So, I call Dr. D and leave a message. Dr. D calls back within 5 minutes. And we repeat the conversation above. Then this Dr. D says, "we are a private practice and do not accept any insurance of any kind so we can't help you."
Me: I understand that but we need to get him diagnosed so that we can get him started on SSI, Medicare, etc.
Dr. D: We cannot help you.
click
So, I call Dr. E and leave a message. Dr. E finally calls me back and we do the dance and finally this doc says:
Dr. E: If you are looking to get him qualified for SSI, then you have to go through one of their doctors. Here is the number of Dr. F, whom I think is on their list.
Me: Thanks
click
So, I call Dr. F. It's a Mexican who cannot understand English and is certainly not a doctor of anything.
click
I call the County Mental Health Dept again. They tell me that they do not start things off with family counselling - the only thing my son has agreed to do - and he would have to show up individually first. So.. now we are back to the ER scenario that the conversation above was
about.
click
*scream!*
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
NAMI Meeting
So the stepson has been visiting his brother's house through the weekend and yesterday. Definitely a much needed relief.
Last night we went to a monthly meeting of NAMI. It was cool to find that there is a support group where you can find out information about how others are handling their children/spouses/siblings with the same type problems. But it's also bad because it was thrown into our face exactly what we are facing here... most of them have been at this for years... if not DECADES! That was about the most depressing thing ever.
Now we are trying to figure out how to proceed with getting our sicky some help. We heard:
1) They are in pain.
2) They want to be normal.
3) They want to be in control of themselves.
The question is, how can we get him help?
When I left this morning for work, my wife was very depressed looking. I should probably call her in a little bit to make sure she is okay. The length of time that the others at the meeting had to deal with their people really hit her hard.
*sigh*
Last night we went to a monthly meeting of NAMI. It was cool to find that there is a support group where you can find out information about how others are handling their children/spouses/siblings with the same type problems. But it's also bad because it was thrown into our face exactly what we are facing here... most of them have been at this for years... if not DECADES! That was about the most depressing thing ever.
Now we are trying to figure out how to proceed with getting our sicky some help. We heard:
1) They are in pain.
2) They want to be normal.
3) They want to be in control of themselves.
The question is, how can we get him help?
When I left this morning for work, my wife was very depressed looking. I should probably call her in a little bit to make sure she is okay. The length of time that the others at the meeting had to deal with their people really hit her hard.
*sigh*
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Damn the System!
I realize that people like my stepson have rights. And "the system" has to provide a framework that also protects their rights. However, it seems to me that since my stepson has yet to be violent, it is nearly impossible for us to get him help when he is not voluntarily willing for that to happen.
Currently, we - his mom and I - are the bad people. We are the ones trying to control his mind. We are the ones that are harassing him constantly. So, now he is completely focused on trying to get away from us. His current fixation is on moving to his "dad's" house in a neighboring state.
Now that he has money - what remains of the $500.00 that he stole out of my account - he is drinking. He is still wigging out while he is awake. For instance, last night, he started listening to our local police band via the internet. He is obsessed with something, and I think that it is that he is worried that I am going to jail him over the money. (Which I still might do just that.)
At any rate, I think that we are going to have to give up on trying to get him some help. He refuses to voluntarily do it saying that we are the ones that are not thinking correctly and he has no problems except for what we are doing to him. I have exhausted "the system" trying to get him in the door. I feel that next for him is violence to get away from us.
So, we told his older brother that if my problem child calls him and asks for help getting his car fixed, properly insured and tagged, then we would let him have his keys back and he can do whatever he wishes. But, in order to stay at our house or come back to our house, he MUST get help to my satisfaction through mental services immediately.
Currently, his mind is so smucked up that I don't think he is capable of getting his car fixed, insured and licensed by himself.
We'll see!
*sigh*
Currently, we - his mom and I - are the bad people. We are the ones trying to control his mind. We are the ones that are harassing him constantly. So, now he is completely focused on trying to get away from us. His current fixation is on moving to his "dad's" house in a neighboring state.
Now that he has money - what remains of the $500.00 that he stole out of my account - he is drinking. He is still wigging out while he is awake. For instance, last night, he started listening to our local police band via the internet. He is obsessed with something, and I think that it is that he is worried that I am going to jail him over the money. (Which I still might do just that.)
At any rate, I think that we are going to have to give up on trying to get him some help. He refuses to voluntarily do it saying that we are the ones that are not thinking correctly and he has no problems except for what we are doing to him. I have exhausted "the system" trying to get him in the door. I feel that next for him is violence to get away from us.
So, we told his older brother that if my problem child calls him and asks for help getting his car fixed, properly insured and tagged, then we would let him have his keys back and he can do whatever he wishes. But, in order to stay at our house or come back to our house, he MUST get help to my satisfaction through mental services immediately.
Currently, his mind is so smucked up that I don't think he is capable of getting his car fixed, insured and licensed by himself.
We'll see!
*sigh*
Monday, January 08, 2007
He's BAAAaaacK!
Ayup, here we go for a quick catch-up.
My stepson was able to barely keep things hidden through the holidays. Then he took off last Thursday night again. The next morning, my wife called me at work and asked if I had taken $500.00 out of our checking account in the middle of the night. Duh! Anyway, he wound up calling his brother asking for a ride from a city about 10 miles north of our house the next morning. (He didn't dare call OUR house!) Then nothing... on Saturday morning, he called from jail 15 miles SOUTH of our house asking if we could get him out.
We showed up at his "court hearing" at 1:30 pm, but they had started the court hearing early and he was already back into his holding cell. They had dropped the charges on his "Public Drunk" due to lack of evidence since they didn't bother doing blood tests. They told us that they would be releasing him later in the afternoon but did not give us a time. So, we went back home.
He then called again at 3:30 am on Sunday morning asking for a ride home. he said that he was at a Taco Mac and they were closing and he needed a ride. He gave us two streets that were not even in the same city! We looked up the number from the caller ID and I got up at 0330 hrs, got smucking dressed and went 35 miles SW of our house to pick him up. I arrived at 0420 and he was nowhere around. I went up the road and down the road looking for him. When he had not shown up by 0520, I went home.
at 0800, he called again - this time sounding a little more irate and said that he was at a Dunkin Doughtnuts and gave the street address. It was about 35 miles due West of our house. *rolling eyes* So, I told him that if he left Dunkin Doughnuts and was not there when I arrived, he could just walk the rest of the way.
He was there when I got there.
We drove in silence for a bit. Then I said, "A person that steals $500.00 from the person that was feeding him, clothing him, and gave him a free place to live was a sorry fuck indeed." He said that he didn't know what I was talking about. So I said that I knew that he had taken his mom's checking card, walked to the bank, and taken $500.00 out of our account Thursday night/Friday morning which was fueling his little walk-about. He again denied any wrong doing.
We rode on in silence. Finally the loudness of the silence was too much for him so he said that he had called his brother to come pick him up but he had refused to come. so I said, "Yes, your brother is a selfish little shit." and back to silence.
I said, "So, where were you at when the cops picked you up and took you to jail?" and he said, "What are you talking about?" *rolling eyes* This boy's mind is breaking up faster and faster! So, I said, "Dude, you called us from jail... then we called there and asked what was what and they responded that you had been charged with Public Drunk and you had a hearing at 1330 hrs on Saturday. So, we showed up to see if we could help you at 1320 hrs and they said that the charges were being dropped." He said, "Oh yeah, I was down on Rice Street visiting some friends. It was all bullshit because they had no proof!"
I didn't say anything more and he didn't say anything more. When we got to the house, I made sure I was the first one through the door and turned around in the kitchen and made him empty his pockets. I looked in his smoke box to make sure there weren't any drugs in it. (There wasn't.) and then I walked away saying, "Welcome smucking home."
Later in the evening when he woke up from SLEEPING all day, he was very pissy. So I confronted him and said that if he had anything to say, he should do so. He started yelling about how he had NOT taken $500.00 out of our account and that he was really pissed off about being accused of it all. (A sure sign that an american male has done something wrong when he starts getting loudly defensive.) He demanded that we provide him proof immediately that he had stolen the money. I told him that I would definitely be providing him with proof by having a copy of the picture from the damn atm. that shut his sorry ass up for a few seconds and he immediately switched topics saying that he was tired of being treated like shit and he didn't want to live at our house anymore.
His momma piped in and said, "You have no where else to live and WE are the ones being treated like shit here, not you. We are the ones that have to deal with your bullshit and be nice to you while you live here and then YOU go and repay us by taking money from us, stealing alcohol, etc, etc." So, I said, "Look son, we don't want to kick you out. We don't want to put you in jail. We want to help you with the problems that are going on in your head so that you can then deal with life and get a job." He went quiet. We went back to watching "The Stand" on TV.
A bit later, he came through the living room and said, "Well, I guess that cops will be showing up any minute to pick me up then." And I asked for what reason? He said, "because you think that I stole $500!" And I said, "Son, I KNOW that you stole the money, yet - even STILL - I do not want to put you into jail for it. I just want it BACK!" He shut the smuck up and went to his room.
He was up roaming the house all night until 0600 hrs this morning.
Our next step is to see if we can get mental appointment through my work.
*sigh*
My stepson was able to barely keep things hidden through the holidays. Then he took off last Thursday night again. The next morning, my wife called me at work and asked if I had taken $500.00 out of our checking account in the middle of the night. Duh! Anyway, he wound up calling his brother asking for a ride from a city about 10 miles north of our house the next morning. (He didn't dare call OUR house!) Then nothing... on Saturday morning, he called from jail 15 miles SOUTH of our house asking if we could get him out.
We showed up at his "court hearing" at 1:30 pm, but they had started the court hearing early and he was already back into his holding cell. They had dropped the charges on his "Public Drunk" due to lack of evidence since they didn't bother doing blood tests. They told us that they would be releasing him later in the afternoon but did not give us a time. So, we went back home.
He then called again at 3:30 am on Sunday morning asking for a ride home. he said that he was at a Taco Mac and they were closing and he needed a ride. He gave us two streets that were not even in the same city! We looked up the number from the caller ID and I got up at 0330 hrs, got smucking dressed and went 35 miles SW of our house to pick him up. I arrived at 0420 and he was nowhere around. I went up the road and down the road looking for him. When he had not shown up by 0520, I went home.
at 0800, he called again - this time sounding a little more irate and said that he was at a Dunkin Doughtnuts and gave the street address. It was about 35 miles due West of our house. *rolling eyes* So, I told him that if he left Dunkin Doughnuts and was not there when I arrived, he could just walk the rest of the way.
He was there when I got there.
We drove in silence for a bit. Then I said, "A person that steals $500.00 from the person that was feeding him, clothing him, and gave him a free place to live was a sorry fuck indeed." He said that he didn't know what I was talking about. So I said that I knew that he had taken his mom's checking card, walked to the bank, and taken $500.00 out of our account Thursday night/Friday morning which was fueling his little walk-about. He again denied any wrong doing.
We rode on in silence. Finally the loudness of the silence was too much for him so he said that he had called his brother to come pick him up but he had refused to come. so I said, "Yes, your brother is a selfish little shit." and back to silence.
I said, "So, where were you at when the cops picked you up and took you to jail?" and he said, "What are you talking about?" *rolling eyes* This boy's mind is breaking up faster and faster! So, I said, "Dude, you called us from jail... then we called there and asked what was what and they responded that you had been charged with Public Drunk and you had a hearing at 1330 hrs on Saturday. So, we showed up to see if we could help you at 1320 hrs and they said that the charges were being dropped." He said, "Oh yeah, I was down on Rice Street visiting some friends. It was all bullshit because they had no proof!"
I didn't say anything more and he didn't say anything more. When we got to the house, I made sure I was the first one through the door and turned around in the kitchen and made him empty his pockets. I looked in his smoke box to make sure there weren't any drugs in it. (There wasn't.) and then I walked away saying, "Welcome smucking home."
Later in the evening when he woke up from SLEEPING all day, he was very pissy. So I confronted him and said that if he had anything to say, he should do so. He started yelling about how he had NOT taken $500.00 out of our account and that he was really pissed off about being accused of it all. (A sure sign that an american male has done something wrong when he starts getting loudly defensive.) He demanded that we provide him proof immediately that he had stolen the money. I told him that I would definitely be providing him with proof by having a copy of the picture from the damn atm. that shut his sorry ass up for a few seconds and he immediately switched topics saying that he was tired of being treated like shit and he didn't want to live at our house anymore.
His momma piped in and said, "You have no where else to live and WE are the ones being treated like shit here, not you. We are the ones that have to deal with your bullshit and be nice to you while you live here and then YOU go and repay us by taking money from us, stealing alcohol, etc, etc." So, I said, "Look son, we don't want to kick you out. We don't want to put you in jail. We want to help you with the problems that are going on in your head so that you can then deal with life and get a job." He went quiet. We went back to watching "The Stand" on TV.
A bit later, he came through the living room and said, "Well, I guess that cops will be showing up any minute to pick me up then." And I asked for what reason? He said, "because you think that I stole $500!" And I said, "Son, I KNOW that you stole the money, yet - even STILL - I do not want to put you into jail for it. I just want it BACK!" He shut the smuck up and went to his room.
He was up roaming the house all night until 0600 hrs this morning.
Our next step is to see if we can get mental appointment through my work.
*sigh*
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)