An hour or so ago, I got really pissed off. Like, uncontrollably pissed off at my stepson. In fact, I realized as I was stomping around the house slamming doors that I was just HOPING that my stepson would step out in front of me so that I could just stomp his ass into floor. Luckily for him, he was not in the house at the time.
At any rate, I could not calm down after I returned to bed. I knew that I was keeping my wife awake because I probably scared her with my temper - which she has only seen once before in our life together. So, I got up, got dressed and retreated to my desk at work where everything is calm and I could be left alone to find some more patience.
The hard thing is that my 25 year old stepson is sick - mentally. He can barely function enough to keep from crapping in his own pants much less think about someone else and how his actions might be affecting them.
Tonight, he left the TV running in his room - one thin wall from our room. It was very loud and tuned to a basketball game.. then he promptly took off on foot down the road for a bit. By the time I had worked myself into a froth about it - enough to actually get up ready to break his neck for him - he had been gone for a couple of hours.
Of course, now I'm calm and feeling really stupid for getting so out of control. I guess that the stress of the situation is getting to me more than I would care to admit. *sigh*
So, here I sit at the office. By myself and hiding in my shame at blowing up over bull hockey.
Dear LORD give me the patience to see this to the end!
